1 Jul 1989 – 23 May 2005
5th Great Grandson of Philip Cardon and Martha Marie Tourn
4th Great Grandson of Louis Philip Cardon and Susette Stalé
3rd Great Grandson of Joseph Samuel Cardon and Selenia Walker
2nd Great Grandson of Joseph Elmer Cardon and Lucinda Hurst
Great Grandson of Ella Cardon and Howard Arthur Goodman
Grandson of Ervin Howard Goodman and Delores L. Lee
Son of Carl Goodman and Kristen Larsen
Kevin Michael Goodman, age 15, passed away 23 May 2005 at Primary Children’s Medical Center following a tragic accident. Kevin was born on the 1st of July 1989 to Kristen and Carl Goodman while they lived in West Jordan, Utah. Kevin moved to Bountiful with his family in 1990. He attended Boulton Elementary and Mueller Park Jr. High. He was a freshman at NUAMES High School (Northern Utah Academy for Math, Engineering, and Science). He was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the North Canyon 4th Ward Teachers Quorum. Kevin enjoyed skateboarding, snowboarding, wakeboarding, computer /video games, dirt bikes, and personal watercraft.
Kevin had a multitude of friends from all over Davis County. He was a social person and loved being with his friends. He had a unique way of looking at the world and brought fresh perspectives and humor to life. He was loving and very lovable. Kevin would want all of his gaming friends to know that he is currently unavailable because he is busy leveling-up his character in the celestial realm.
Kevin is survived by his parents, brothers Tony, Aaron, and Greg; his grandparents Jeane and Veryl Larsen (Sandy, UT) and Ervin and Delores Goodman (Farmington, NM) as well as aunts, uncles and cousins.
Funeral services were held Friday, May 27, 2005 at 12:00 noon at the North Canyon 4th Ward Chapel, 965 East Oakwood (off of Bountiful Blvd.) Bountiful, Utah. Friends called Thursday evening from 6-8:00 p.m. at Russon Brothers Bountiful Mortuary, 295 North Main Street and Friday morning from 10:30 -11:45 a.m. prior to services at the church. Interment-Bountiful City Cemetery.
Published in the Deseret News from 5/25/2005 – 5/27/2005.
Life Sketch
by LeeAnn L. Samsel in consultation with Kristen L. Goodman
For those of you who don’t know me, Kris is my big sister. I like to tease her about that because I’ve been bigger than her for over 20 years. Most of you know that Kris and Carl have a habit of taking in strays, and I don’t mean dogs and cats like normal people, that would be too easy. They take in stray kids. This tradition started way before they moved to Bountiful. When I was in college my friends and I were always welcome to crash on their living room floor anytime we were in town.
They were kind enough to let me live with them when I moved to Salt Lake in early 1989. I was still there when Kevin was born. Tony was 8 and Aaron was 6. On the night of Kevin’s birth, Kris and Carl tried to wait for me to get home to take care of the boys while they went to the hospital. Kevin however had other plans. He wasn’t going to wait for me, so a neighbor had to stay with the boys. Kevin was such a wiggler in his mom’s tummy that he got a start on his scouting and tied a knot in the umbilical cord and around himself. It was a miracle he was OK.
Kevin didn’t change much after that night. He was un-predictable, and did pretty much what he wanted. If there was something Kevin wanted to do, he would make it happen. If he didn’t want to do it, too bad. We just never quite knew what to expect with Kevin.
The Goodman family moved to Bountiful when Kevin was almost a year old, so most of our memories of him are here. The neighborhood got to know Kevin quite well when he was only two. Carl’s sister and brother-in-law were visiting them one weekend. Kris and Carl had to go to a wedding reception and Jay agreed to stay with Tony, Aaron and Kevin while Rosalie took their older kids to the Galleria. Tony was supposed to help keep an eye on Kevin. At the last minute, Kris and Carl decided to take Kevin with them to the reception, and told Rosalie. Unfortunately, Jay and Tony didn’t get the word. When they realized that Kevin was missing, they looked everywhere, then Tony called Bishop Jepsen. Within minutes, the entire neighborhood was searching. Doug White and others were cruising the streets with their cell phones—the “big brick” kind. The Relief Society sisters were inside going through cupboards, hampers, and looking under beds—anywhere a little boy could hide.
When Kris and Carl came home, they were confused and frightened when they drove into the circle and saw all the cars and people. In turn, the neighbors were relieved when they saw that Kevin was sleeping peacefully in his car seat, totally oblivious to the commotion his disappearance had caused.
For several years, the neighbors could count on at least one call a week, asking them if they had seen Kevin anywhere. Or did they happen to have an extra pair of shoes he had left at their house. We are grateful for the advances in technology that brought cell phones into to our life. Kris calls it her “leash” so the kids can always find her. Kevin’s phone was also a “leash” so we could find him. Unfortunately, he often forgot it or let the battery die, so we still had to call his friends looking for him.
His first friend was Richard Spratt and they were quite the duo. What mischief one of them didn’t think of, the other one did. Once, when they were three or four years old they disappeared while playing at Kevin’s house. Kris tracked them to Richard’s house where they had crawled through the doggie door and were inside, giggling and hiding.
Kevin also regularly escaped from Primary. He’d decide he didn’t want to be there and just crawl through the hole in the fence and go home. I remember when Kris was called to serve in the Primary, she told me it was so she could keep an eye on Kev so the other leaders could do their jobs. Kevin’s favorite Primary teacher was Bruce Spratt. We can hardly believe that Bruce taught Kevin’s class for about three years, moving up with them each year. That is a glutton for punishment.
Kevin hated blue collar work like helping clean the house or working in the yard. He’d tell us he was going to be so rich that he would have maids to clean up after him. He was good about doing projects, though. He was the one Kris asked to change a light bulb or build the bookcase they bought. It was fun to see the pride in his eyes when he completed the bookcase. We saw that same glow when he designed and built a foam-core model of his idea for a new school. He even made a small statue in the courtyard of the NUAMES Blue Devil mascot.
Kevin didn’t particularly enjoy school. As early as age 6, he ran away from the school. We transferred him to a Montessori school and he thrived under Teacher Marta’s direction. He went back to Boulton in 3rd grade, then to Mueller Park Jr. for 7th and 8th Grade.
Kevin’s counselor at Mueller Park told us about a new high school that was beginning in the fall of 2005. It was a charter school partially funded by a grant from Bill Gates, called Northern Utah Academy for Math, Engineering, and Science (NUAMES). The curriculum and program are designed for kids who are college-bound and interested in technical fields. If they follow the program, and take a few summer courses, they can actually have an Associate Degree from Weber State by the time they graduate from High School. It was a perfect place for Kevin—he planned to go to college and this would help him get through faster. He loved it! He enjoyed most of his classes and he loved his friends there. He was smart enough to do Physics, Engineering, and Geometry as a 9th grader and often helped his friends with their work. He could do anything if it was his idea. He just didn’t like to do his own work because, well, because he was Kevin.
Kevin was left-handed and we jokingly used that to explain a lot of his behavior. He had a totally unique way of looking at the world and relating to people. If he thought about doing something, it was as if he had already done it. He could remember small details of music he had heard years before, but couldn’t remember to hand in his homework.
He could get along with almost anyone, older, younger, or his age. He loved to be with his friends and would often tell us he had to go see someone because they were sad or upset and needed him.
Kevin had a bunch of nicknames. Kev’yorn, Kev-Meister, and K-Dawg were just a few. Kris nicknamed him “Crinkle-toes” (like twinkle toes, but with a C) because his toes cracked whenever he walked around barefoot. We teased him that he could never be a Ninja because he couldn’t sneak up on anyone. His noisy toes always announced him coming down the hall.
Kevin’s signature clothing style included low-rider jeans that his mom was constantly telling him to pull up and cover his boxers, a tee shirt with a skateboard logo, his skate shoes, and a hoody. He didn’t like to wear shorts, even in the summer. He also loved his beanie, a nice cover-up when he didn’t want to comb his hair. He loved to use his I-pod or CD player and I’m sure the hat and long hair helped hide his wires and drove his teachers crazy.
Kevin loved his bed! It had a pillow top and was soft and comfy. Ever since he was little, he has loved flannel pillowcases. He liked the feel of the fabric against his face. His Gramma Larsen made him several, so he could always have a flannel case on his pillows. He didn’t like to sleep with a sheet, so he always ended up just wrapped in a quilt that his Gramma made.
He liked his hair long, in his eyes, with little “wings” over his ears where it curled. We teased him about the length of his hair and even convinced him to get it trimmed twice in the last year or so. He did have a few periods of short hair when he would decide to just shave it all off. He’d enlist Tony’s help and they’d enjoy shocking their mom.
Kevin liked lots of different foods and was willing to try new tastes even when he was small. I think he was one of the only kids in his elementary class who ate sushi. He also loved eating with chopsticks. He didn’t get too excited about sweets though. I don’t think he got that from my side of the family. Last year he even went on a “candy diet” where he didn’t eat any candy for a whole year. He got paid $100 for his efforts—he considered it easy money.
Kev’s favorite foods were Subway Club sandwiches with everything, Panda Express Chow Mein and Orange Chicken, and the cheap Totino’s pizzas he would cook after school. He loved his Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew and Barq’s root beer. A special treat for Kevin was fresh pineapple. He conned his grandma into cutting up a whole pineapple for him one day when he was at her house and didn’t want to eat anything else.
For such a young guy, he was quite well-traveled. He went on family trips to most of the western US, Florida and Hawaii. He loved Bear Lake and Lake Powell. When he was twelve, he even got to go to England on a business trip with Carl.
Family vacations to Hawaii were great—he took all kinds of surfing lessons to learn to board surf, windsurf and kite surf. And last year, he went with his family to Chile to pick up Aaron from his mission and meet some of the people Aaron taught. It was a wonderful experience for the whole family.
Kevin had a lot of health problems that wouldn’t be obvious unless you knew him well. He had asthma and was allergic to cats and dogs and some plants. That made it difficult sometimes to play at his friend’s houses. He seemed to catch every bug that came around and we spent a lot of time in Dr. Coombs’ office. He suffered a lot from headaches and missed a lot of the 8th Grade because of them. Some were caused by sinus problems and he had surgery to help with that. Then he was diagnosed with Mono and missed the entire snowboarding season. That was way worse than being sick. The migraines came next, along with a sleep phase disorder. He did pretty well during the summer, but when school started again last fall, the headaches became more severe, causing him to miss school and get further behind. This increased his anxiety and his headaches. He spent a week in the hospital in December getting a special IV treatment of migraine medicine, but it hardly helped.
Despite all the medications and things we tried to do, Kevin was often in pain—sometimes physical, sometimes mental. He struggled with Attention Deficit Disorder, Oppositional-Defiant Disorder, Anxiety and Depression. Getting out of bed in the morning was a major challenge and he didn’t always make it to school. When he did go, if things got bad at school, he’d get a headache and have to come home. The teachers and administration at NUAMES were great to work with and incredibly patient with Kevin and his problems. He was well-liked there in spite of his difficulties.
Kevin had all kinds of friends. He had cousins who were good friends, friends at church, in the neighborhood, skateboarding friends, video and computer game friends, friends he played chess with, and other friends from school. He stayed after school a lot, assuring his mom that he was there doing his homework so he didn’t have any to do at home. In reality, we know he was just playing chess and hanging out. But that’s OK, because he was happy and enjoying it.
This last week has been one of the hardest our family has faced, but we are so grateful to have had the privilege of knowing Kevin and having him in our lives. Thank you all for the love you have shown us and Kevin. We know you loved him, and he knows it too. He will remain in our hearts always.
Funeral Audio
Welcome
I am a Child of God
Opening Prayer – Tony Goodman (brother)
Announcement of Program – Bishop John R. Morris
Obituary and Comments – Aaron Goodman (brother)
Life Sketch – LeeAnn L. Samsel (aunt). See a transcript of LeeAnn’s remarks in the Life Sketch above.
How Gentle God’s Commands – Dave Ashby, Brent Muhlestein, Bill Stegal, Alan Whitchurch, Dave White
Announcement of Program – Bishop John R. Morris
Remarks – Howard Goodman (uncle). See transcript of Howard’s remarks below.
I Know that My Redeemer Lives – Lindsay Dawson and Michael Dennis
Remarks – Bishop John R. Morris. See transcript of the bishop’s remarks below.
Program Closing Announcements – Bishop John R. Morris
Closing Hymn – Families Can Be Together forever
Closing Prayer – Ervin H. Goodman (grandfather)
Last Lament – Amazing Grace
Remarks Made May 27, 2005
by Howard F. Goodman, an Uncle
Kevin Michael Goodman was a very unique individual. Let me share with you some of Kevin’s strengths and weaknesses.
First, I would like to discuss his character: Kevin is, by nature fairly cautious. Unlike some of his brothers, he would not be the first one to try something new. On more than one occasion, the challenge came to jump off cliffs into the water at Lake Powell. Kevin was not the first person over the edge. But, after he had seen others, like his brothers, jump, he took the plunge – and felt accomplishment in the achievement. When he took up skateboarding and snowboarding, he wasn’t the first person to ride the ramp or attempt the half-pipe, but after careful observation and analysis, he would venture into the runs and attempt to develop and then perfect his skill. This cautious nature was perhaps one of the reasons that he often worried about “making the grade” or “being good enough”. This cautious nature also perhaps had bearing on one of his greatest fears in life – that of failure. He truly wanted to succeed. In fact, there were times the fear of failure was so great that he wouldn’t try or attempt to perform.
Kevin’s cautious nature seems at odds with his impulsiveness. How could he act so quickly and without thinking, when he was so good at analyzing? His initial reaction to almost everything was “No!” It was a sort of “panic attack,” automatic response that either allowed him time to analyze the situation at his own speed and then have a chance to change his mind, or, it allowed him to avoid the moment and get someone off his back.
It is said that those who have dreams and visions of grandeur are the ones that move the world. Kevin had dreams and visions of grandeur. He had great plans for himself and others. Maybe you heard him talk about how he was going to be so successful he would “rule” or “take over” the world someday. He talked about starting an airline, a start-up company like a Jet Blue that would eventually dominate the entire airline industry. He dreamed of writing video games and computer games that would become so popular that every person on the planet would want to play them. He was going to call his company the “Goody Games” Company. He talked of building the largest skate-park in the entire world, complete with all of the half-pipes, quarter-pipes and jumps. People would come from all over the world to skate. Kevin would sometimes say, “We can’t just talk about it, we have to do it”.
Kevin was a social person. Everywhere he went, he made friends. People loved his sense of humor. When he first started playing soccer, he enjoyed soccer practice and games, but he more enjoyed going to the playground next to the soccer fields with all of the kids that were just playing and having a good time. He became interested in football because he had friends that liked football. The same was true for basketball.
Kevin can be determined and persistent. He participated in Karate and became a blue belt. He wanted to become a good pool player and worked hard at learning the angles and bounces of the ball on the table. His older brothers used to beat him handily at video and computer games until Kevin made up his mind that he was going to be better. He would play games over and over until he had mastered them. Before long, his older brothers were coming to him for advice on how to win. When Kevin decided he was going to finish the duty to God portion of his Deacon’s award, one of his goals was to finish reading the Deacon portion of the Book of Mormon. His dad wanted to help him and so agreed that he would get up in the morning with Kevin to read. With Kevin the initiator, at 6:30 AM, Kevin and his dad read scriptures for several months so that Kevin could reach his goal.
Kevin loved to help other people. On one particular occasion, Kevin saw a girl from another school being teased and picked on by some people that Kevin knew. He stepped in to protect and help the girl. He was successful in helping her, but in the process took some criticism and ostracism from those that he knew. He wanted to make others feel better. His friends will attest that he has spent many hours helping them to “level up their characters”.
Perhaps you don’t know that Kevin was talented in the performing arts. In his Montessori school, he played the part of King Alonso in Shakespeare’s “Tempest”. Playing his role required him to memorize lines in the Old English Language of Shakespeare’s time. Kevin not only accomplished the feat, but was given an award for Outstanding Acting and Dance for his role in that performance.
He had ability academically. On an SAT test for science in grade school, he scored in the top ten percent of all students in the entire nation. In other, private testing last year by (SEPS) an independent private school and clinic, he scored at the graduate school level in visual-spacial thinking and fluid reasoning. At the same time, he evidenced a very limited short-term memory and attention.
Kevin loved to try to figure things out and understand logic. He loved chess. He would check out chess books from the library and study them constantly. He would set up scenarios on the chessboard in the basement of his home and study the possible moves and countermoves. Perhaps, the game of chess describes Kevin’s life, and his view of life, in many respects. You see, when you play a game of chess, each move that you make with one of your pieces comes with consequences. If you make the right move, your future ability to succeed is enhanced. If you make the wrong move, you have some setbacks that make it much tougher to ultimately win the game.
Likewise, the game of life is filled with choices and decisions. There is a price to pay for every move that we make in life. Our choices determine whether we advance and ultimately obtain value or whether we bring sorrow into our lives. I don’t know how much Kevin truly understood about the principle of agency. One of Kevin’s weaknesses seems to be his inability to understand fully the relationship between cause and effect, or the relationship between choice and consequences. Some have referred to this agency as “free” agency. However, I would submit to you that there is no such thing as “free” agency. Because, with agency—or the ability to choose, the ability to direct our actions and our lives—comes a responsibility—a responsibility to be accountable for our choices and our actions. Yes, we are free to choose ( even from the very beginning, in the Garden of Eden, the Lord God told Adam and Eve, “Thou mayest choose for thyself, for it is given unto thee” [Moses 3:19]), but we are not free to choose the consequences or the price of our actions. In Section 130 of the Doctrine and Covenants, we read.
There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessing are predicated. And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated. (Section 130:20-21)
And likewise, whenever we disobey a law, there is a punishment that must be satisfied. In the game of chess, much like life, to reach the ultimate prize and win the game, you have to watch the entire chess board, the “big picture”, and realize that any current move you make will have consequences, some immediate and others as the game unfolds. And, with an understanding of the plan of salvation, it helps to have a master plan in your mind before you make your first move and to stay with your plan as the game unfolds.
Kevin made many good choices in his life. He also made some that were wrong. The taking of one’s life is wrong! He will be held accountable for his actions. One thing that none of us knows about Kevin is what was going on in his mind. On May 12th, only a couple of weeks ago, Kevin wrote a paper for a class assignment where he was asked to evaluate a poem. He chose the poem, “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost. His final, concluding statement in the analysis of the poem reads:
“ We all want to say ‘that [the road we choose] has made all the difference’ because we want to make the right decision. We don’t want to make the wrong choice.”
We don’t know what Kevin saw on his chessboard of life and have no way of knowing what he felt about the consequences of his next move. Elder Bruce R. McConckie, who was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve said,
“Persons subject to great stresses may lose control of themselves and become mentally clouded to the point that they are no longer accountable for their acts. Such are not to be condemned for taking their own lives. It should also be remembered that judgment is the Lord’s; he knows the thoughts, intents, and abilities of men; and he in his infinite wisdom will make all things right in due course.” (Mormon Doctrine, 2d ed., Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966, p. 771.)
What state of mind was Kevin in when he made this tragic mistake? Nobody on this earth knows. We do know he was often impulsive. Quoting from Elder M. Russell Ballard, a current member of the Quorum of the Twelve,
“I feel that the Lord also recognizes differences in intent and circumstances: Was the person who took his life mentally ill? Was he or she so deeply depressed as to be unbalanced or otherwise emotionally disturbed? Was the suicide a tragic, pitiful call for help …………… that . . progressed faster than the victim intended? Did he or she somehow not understand the seriousness of the act? Was he or she suffering from a chemical imbalance that led to despair and a loss of self-control?
Obviously, we do not know the full circumstances surrounding every suicide. Only the Lord knows all the details, and he it is who will judge our actions here on earth.
When he does judge us, I feel he will take all things into consideration: our genetic and chemical makeup, our mental state, our intellectual capacity, the teachings we have received, the traditions of our fathers, our health, and so forth.”
Let me quote to you excerpts from a talk that Kevin gave in January of 2003. I quote:
“ If you are doing bad stuff, it will show in your face and in how you act and how you treat other people. If you have faith and are doing all the things God wants you to do, it will show in how you look, in how you act and how you treat other people. . . . If you are upset, but you act happy, and put on a smile, the people who really know you will know that something is wrong. God knows us very well and we can never fool him. He can look at our heart and know how we are doing.. . .
He concludes his talk by saying,
“My brother, Aaron, is on a mission in Chile right now. I haven’t seen him since June, but when we saw him then at the airport, he looked different from when he was at home. I can only describe it as kind of “shiny”. He was doing what he was supposed to be doing and serving the Lord by going on a mission, so he looked shiny. When we talked to him on Christmas, he sounded happy and even kind of “shiny”. I want to go on a mission in a few years and I can start preparing now, by following God’s commandments and doing what is right. Then I will be ready to represent the Lord as one of his missionaries when I am 19. I will have a name tag that says I am from the Church of Jesus Christ of Letter-day Saints and I want to be shiny and clean and have His image as well as His name. I know I can’t just talk about it, I have to do it. I also know that He will help me.”
How grateful we can be that the infinite atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ applies to all of us and applies very broadly.
“His blood atoneth for the sins of those who have fallen by the transgression of Adam, who have died not knowing the will of God concerning them, or who have ignorantly sinned.” (Mosiah 3:11)
So, we have analyzed some of Kevin’s strengths and some weaknesses. There are many questions left unanswered. But there are some we can answer. Can he still progress and grow?: Absolutely. Has he reached his full potential? : Absolutely not. Will his future journey include difficulty and require a lot of effort? : Most certainly. Will he continue to be loved and cared for by those he left behind? : No question! Will he live again, with his body, someday? : Absolutely.
How comforting it is to know the true gospel of Jesus Christ provides all of us the knowledge and witness of the efficacy of the atonement of Jesus Christ. I testify Christ is our Savior – He has the ability to save all of us. We have to do our part. I testify to you that Jesus Christ lives. I testify that we will all live again someday. I testify that the principle of agency is a true principle that has existed from the foundations of this world.
Funeral Service Remarks by Bishop John R. Morris
Introduction
We are here to remember Kevin and his life. Those of you who are younger perhaps may find it odd, even hypocritical or “bogus,” that we emphasize the best of one’s life at his passing. Please don’t feel so. It is our way to call out the positive. Would you have us remember you any other way?
Kevin had all the energy and changeableness of any teenager. He gave service helping ward members moving or tending their yards, then videogame to all hours. Not a morning person, once wakened Kevin was a veritable nuclear reaction on a skateboard, generating enormous enthusiasm and energy. He could be perceptive beyond his years. He could also be exasperating at times, like so many teens. He made mostly good choices, and one tragic, poor choice.
A young man’s death is a death multiplied. It is a loss of possibilities, of promises, of hope for all that he was and could become. And death by one’s own hand is a difficult and overwhelming loss for parents, family and friends.
You may have feelings of disbelief. You may be overwhelmed, terrified, confused, hurt, upset or sorrowful. You may not know what to do with yourself. You may feel grief, guilt and even anger. You may even have come to question what you believe.
THE PLAN OF HAPPINESS
Where Kevin is now, you will someday be. You should understand some things about that place and of the plan of salvation—“the merciful plan of the great Creator” (2 Ne. 9:6), the Lord’s “great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8)—things that Kevin, whose thoughts are no longer obscured by the veil or limited by his mortal body, clearly sees and would want you to know.
First, we are spirit children of our Father in Heaven. We lived with him in our pre-mortal existence. We were all present at the first organization in heaven. We saw the Savior chosen and appointed and the plan of salvation made. TPJS, p. 158, 181
Second, life does not begin with birth, nor does it end with death. Mortal life is temporary and, measured against eternity, infinitesimally brief.
Third, we came here to be tested and proved, “to see if [we] will do all things whatsoever the Lord [our] God shall command.” Abr. 3:25
Fourth, “concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection … the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men … are taken home to that God who gave them life.” Alma 40:11 The world of spirits, or paradise, is structured and organized by families and levels to promote the Lord’s great work.
Fifth, after mortal death we will, without exception, rise in the Resurrection, restored to a perfect frame.See Alma 11:43-44, 40:23; D&C 138:17
“O how great the plan of our God! For on the other hand, the paradise of God must deliver up the spirits of the righteous, and the grave deliver up the body of the righteous; and the spirit and the body is restored to itself again, and all men become incorruptible, and immortal, and they are living souls, having a perfect knowledge… .” 2 Ne. 9:13
Sixth, after our resurrection, we will be judged and receive our reward.
“And it shall come to pass that when all men shall have passed from this first death unto life, … they must appear before the judgment-seat of the Holy One of Israel; and then cometh the judgment, and then must they be judged according to the holy judgment of God.” 2 Ne. 9:15
At that time, we will each know and acknowledge to the Savior the ultimate fairness of our individual test of mortality. We will each know and shout for joy and “call Him blessed” at the infinite and eternal fairness of his judgment, overwhelmed by his love and compassion and the grace he extends to us. SeeMosiah 16:1
“And assuredly, … they who are righteous shall be righteous still …
“O the greatness and the justice of our God! …
“ … behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in the Holy One of Israel, they who have endured the crosses of the world, and despised the shame of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be full forever.” 2 Ne. 9:15-18
Whatever you think of your present lot, we were not sent here to fail.
“[We] each counseled intimately with God the Father. Freely, fully, and with a courage that astonishes mortal imagination, [we] elected and prepared for this estate. The contrasts of the flesh, its risks, its terrific trials, were known to [us]. More than that, [we] comprehended [our] actual appointed mission in this world, designed to meet [our] individual needs, and those who would depend upon [us]. Perhaps [we] anticipated these exact circumstances.” Truman G. Madsen, Eternal Man, p.57
“Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.” D&C 58:3
All these things are and will be in accordance with the great plan of happiness.
TAKING ONE’S LIFE
You may struggle with the thought that the taking of a life, even one’s own, condemns the actor to a lesser reward and kingdom in the life to come.
The taking of one’s life by one’s own hand is wrong, and a very serious misuse of agency. Yet the Lord will not judge strictly by the act itself, but will look at Kevin’s circumstances and understanding and weigh the degree of his accountability. This is not to excuse, nor will the Lord excuse without more.
Only the Lord knows our thoughts, intents and abilities. See Alma 18:32; D&C 6:16, 33:1 He alone has all the facts. Only the Lord could administer fair judgment. And somehow He in his infinite wisdom will make all things right in due course.
“And it is requisite with the justice of God that men should be judged according to their works; and if their works were good in this life, and the desires of their hearts were good, that they should also, at the last day, be restored unto that which is good.” Alma 41:2-3
Death does not shield us from the consequences of our actions or the sorrow for sin necessary for repentance.
Kevin certainly knows how he came to be where he is now, and he also certainly knows what he must do there. We cannot say if his path will be harder there than here. Certainly Kevin may receive the Melchizedek Priesthood and his temple endowment vicariously.
“We cannot measure these particular spiritual experiences, of course. We do not know the extent to which the door is open for these particular people to grow and develop in righteousness until they possibly receive the blessings of exaltation. They committed a very serious sin, and some consequences of it may remain with them throughout eternity. Only our Father in Heaven knows the full answer to the questions our hearts ask regarding those who take their own lives.” M. Russell Ballard, “Suicide: Some Things We Know, and Some We Do Not,” Ensign, Oct. 1987, 6
“We need not doubt the wisdom and intelligence of the Great Jehovah; He will award judgment or mercy to all … according to their several deserts, … ; and when the designs of God shall be made manifest, and the curtain of futurity be withdrawn, we shall all of us eventually have to confess that the Judge of all the earth has done right.” TPJS, p. 218
When the Savior’s work is completed, there will be a place for Kevin.
The veil can be thin. Let us not burden Kevin by our self-doubt or weakness. He can yet learn from our faithfulness and example, and be strengthened by our resolve and our prayers. And he can comfort and minister to us as he progresses in the Spirit World, just as we can comfort him by our actions now and in the future.
Prayer and Blessing
1. It is all right to grieve but do so with faith and understanding and trust.
Loving relationships continue beyond the doors of death and judgment. Family ties endure.
The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.
2. May you be comforted.
One of the purposes of the Atonement is to take away our grief and heal our hearts. Give Him your grief and He will be with you and comfort you. Remember that the Atonement is even this minute reaching out to Kevin. Only the Lord knows Kevin’s heart. God is a generous and merciful God. He will give Kevin all that He can.
Have a personal knowledge of what is meant when the Lord said, “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.” John 14:18
How does anyone survive such sorrow as this without sustaining faith, without the Comforter?
3. May you have that “peace … which passeth all understanding.” Phil. 4:7
I promise you that the peace which can only come from our Father will come to you, and that understanding and remembrances which can only come from our Father will also come to you.
In spite of our feeling, at times, that He has forgotten us, He testifies,
“Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee …
“Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands.” 1 Ne. 21:15-16
4. I would that you have hope.
Look forward to your reunions with Kevin and loved ones, and associations with ancestors and descendants.
“The expectation of seeing my friends in the morning of the resurrection cheers my soul and makes me bear up against the evils of life. It is like their taking a long journey, and on their return we meet them with increased joy” TPJS, p. 296
5. To those who now must move forward with life:
Let there be no judgment, no recriminations, no guilt, no doubts or crises of belief, no regrets or worries.
As hard as this time may be, remember the YAHOO principle—“You Always Have Other Options.”
I feel that Kevin would tell us now that the most important decision any of us can make is to stay the course, finish the race, endure to the end. Only the Lord knows when we have learned all we were sent here to learn and served all those He has sent us to serve. And our testing has many levels corresponding to transitions in our lives and even our deaths.
To those of us with a little more time to place our lives in order, to prepare for our reunion, grant an eternal perspective.
Grant strength and determination—physical, mental and spiritual. We honor those who left us only by living better and more faithfully in the years we have left.
Grant a stronger testimony of the doctrines of resurrection, the mediation of Christ and the certainty of life after death.
Our burden and joy is to so live that we may be worthy see our loved ones again.
Bountiful City Cemetery, Bountiful, UT.
